CNN Comments Superstar: Proud Texan.

I read a lot of news on the internet. Usually it’s to look for stuff to talk about on my posts but even on days I’m not writing something I’ll check around 5 different sites a day. With all the news articles I read, though, I’ve never once been compelled to comment. I really don’t understand why these sites have comments sections on some articles. I get how it could come in handy for editorials but I really don’t give a shit what the entire internet thinks about straight up news articles.

That being said, I absolutely love reading the comments on some news articles. I think I can say without hyperbole that anybody who has a user profile on a major news site and comments regularly on articles is a bratty, whiny social pariah who will say the most offensive things they can possibly think of in hopes to get a little attention because they aren’t interesting enough to get people to pay attention to them in real life.

For example…

I was reading an article on CNN about a Chinese tourist recently arrested for throwing green paint on various monuments and somebody posted this comment –

First thought: He’s probably trolling. Second thought: Wait that’s actually pretty common logic for a Texan.

kids love memes.

Some people on the thread tried to explain to him that China doesn’t execute Americans for graffiti because they don’t know how internet comment threads work. He replied with –

at this point he should just link a youtube video of him putting his fingers in his ears and screaming “LALALALALALALA”

Oh and because it had been almost 20 comments and nobody said “abortion” –

Is there an abortion equivalent to Godwin’s law? There should be.

After seeing this I had to see if he posted on other threads. Luckily that Texas flag avatar stands out and I could quickly scroll through stuff to see where else he had posted. Turns out he’s quite prolific. Found him on an article about the Bradley Manning verdict –

Oh, that’s your solution for everything.

Then things took a bit of a turn that was even dark for a guy who seems like he’d execute somebody for a late library book. Once Muslims entered the picture he really stepped up his game. Here’s an article about a Saudi blogger imprisoned for insulting Islam –