I’m on a see-food diet. I see food and then I eat it HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (FART)!

Seriously, though. I’m not the kind of person that monitors what he eats. It may be one of the reasons I’m fat (recent studies at many universities are starting to show a growing link between eating a ton of shitty food and being overweight).

What’s worse is that the food I eat may constantly be making me high.

Jena was installing a computer the other day for some doctor reasearch sciencey person and they got to talking about Jared attending online school and the reasons for that. One of which being his ADD (which I also have the pleasure of having) and anxiety. The doctor then mentioned how she had conducted a study on the link between casein proteins and the exacerbation of inflammatory disorders like IBS, anxiety and ADD. Jena suggested we try going casein free for a month and see what happens since everybody in the house has at least one of those disorders.

This will be a bit tough since casein proteins are found in dairy products. Milk, cheese, most chocolates. Basically all the stuff I love to eat.

I decided to google it a bit to find out more about the whole casein / ADD connection. Turns out, according to a livestrong.com article that “people who lack the enzyme that breaks down proteins like casein are left with an opoid substance in their digestive system. This theoretically can produce an opium-like effect that alters perceptions and behavior and accounts for the spaciness and poor attention in ADHD.”

Wait a second. I’m getting high off of milk? Is it like Requiem For a Dream where I’ll slam a glass of milk, cut to my pupils dilating, my veins expanding, me collapsing on the couch.

I’ve been getting high off milk all these years. My parents, my teachers told me how important it is to drink my milk when I was a kid unaware that they might as well have been telling me how important it is to shoot heroin.

Shit. Am I going to go through withdrawal now? All cold sweats in the bed, looking up and seeing a cow walk across the ceiling turning it’s head 180 degrees?

Whatever. It’s for the best. Nothing but clean, drug milk free living for me for the next month. Thank god there’s no casein protein in beer.