A man was killed when a cow fell through his roof and landed on him in his sleep.

I really feel like I should have more to say on the subject. Like there should be a million jokes or witticisms just jumping onto the page. I mean, something about how too much red meat can kill you, or maybe something about being lactose intolerant.

If I was really clever, maybe a mad cow reference with the tag “You mad bro? Come at me!”

Plotting your death.

Maybe even a Monty Python reference:

But no. I got nothing. I keep reading the story, and all that comes to mind is the fact that a person died when a ton of cow fell through his roof and landed on him in his sleep.

I mean, I want to get more ridiculous than that, but I just don’t see how. Maybe with a ton of chickens? Maybe if it fell on him while he was taking a walk through the city?

But I mean, it has to be somewhat believable. Not that a cow falling through a roof is common place…

Wait- what? The article says that this is the third cow-through-roof incident in recent years.

What the hell Brazil? Put fences up or something. Build stronger houses. Learn from these mistakes.

I tell ya. These guys wouldn’t take a hint if it fell through the roof and landed on them.