This is really, really shitty. There’s a winter storm that doesn’t know it’s fucking spring dumping snow all over the country. Here in MN we got an inch or so last night and are supposed to get 3-5 more tonight. After a long winter that had a lot of punishing snowstorms, this last storm is just rubbing salt on the wound. We’re getting so worn down by the long winter that Canada will take the opportunity to Annex us any day now –







It’s bad enough I have to drive around in this and shovel it off my sidewalk. The worst part of all of this is that it’s all my fault.



It’s my fault that we’re getting this blizzard. I’m so sorry. See, about a month ago I did a post about getting towed during snow emergency that included bragging about not getting towed once this year and a lot of people read it because I used a lot of colorful language to describe history’s greatest villain, the tow truck driver.



Now, I’m not saying a tow truck driver read the article because, as we all know, they’re all illiterate. I could imagine a tow truck driver being told about the post by their meth dealer or hooker or something. Once one found out they spread the word and pretty soon every tow truck driver knew I was out there just bragging that I had escaped their wrath.



This wouldn’t stand with them. Nobody escapes the wrath of the tow truck driver.



Gathering in the parking lot of a shitty strip club. The tow truck drivers used their gypsy-like magic powers to summon a powerful weather system to blanket the earth with snow until I finally would slip up and get towed for snow emergency.



I’m not going to let that happen. I’m sorry so many people had to get pulled into this but I refuse to let my car get towed for snow emergency. Let them bring the snow until June.