Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night stays these courageous couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. Tough luck getting your mail on Saturdays, though.



The U.S.P.S, which has been hemorrhaging money since the first email was sent, has announced that it’s no longer delivering mail on Saturdays due to it’s money problems.



You can blame the Post Office’s money woes on many different things but it’s pretty clear that the USPS can’t survive on it’s current business plan. To actually make a profit it would have to jack up the price of stamps astronomically and I’ve already got a bunch of those “forever” stamps anyway –

If America wants to revive it’s dying postal service we’re going to need to take action. We’re going to need to act like our grandmothers.



People like my grandmothers (RE: Other grandmothers) have been propping up the postal service for decades with the practice of unnecessary mailing. Here’s just three ways that my grandma has used the mail when she hasn’t needed to.



Clipping out newspaper articles she thinks I’d like and then mailing them to me
Also keeping the ailing newspaper industry alive, my grandmother has a fresh paper delivered to her door daily. She clips out articles about stand up comedians in town and then mails them to me. She’s never mailed me any clips that have mentioned me (it’s happened a couple times!), it’s usually about some other comedian or an article about a comedy club in town. If it’s about another comedian, she’ll circle his/her name for some reason.



Demanding birthday cards
My grandmother loves having birthday cards mailed to her. She doesn’t like having birthday cards handed to her. They must be mailed. I’ve asked her about this. I live in the same city as her and have gone out with her on her birthday but she insists that I mail her a birthday card rather than hand one to her. Maybe getting a bunch of mail is like a status symbol in a nursing home. Like a full mailbox is the old person equivalent to having a lot of friends on facebook.



Mailing cards on unnecessary holidays
I’ll get Christmas cards from her even though I see her every Christmas. A birthday card even though I’ll see her almost every birthday. She even sends Valentine’s Day cards which is a little creepy but she’ll usually include some chocolates in that one so I don’t complain.



So there you go. If you want to save the USPS, just grandma it up!