I got hooked on NPR on election day.



I’d never really cared for radio news in the past but on election day I had to work and wanted to hear the results throughout the day and as polls closed around the country. For the first time in my life I listened to NPR news and was blown away by how thorough and impartial they were. I always assumed they’d have a liberal bias because, well, conservatives are always bitching about liberal Bias.



Granted, I googled “fox news on npr” and a bunch of stories came up about how public radio listeners are way more informed than Fox News viewers so that’s probably just sour grapes on the conservative end.



Since the election I’ve listened to NPR every time I get into my car. There’s just one problem. I have no idea what they’re talking about when they report on world politics.



Seriously. Totally lost. Let’s look at one of the things NPR news has reported on in the last few days and what I know about it.



SYRIA
What I know: There’s fighting I guess? Like, a war or something? Maybe a middle east thing?

What I don’t know: Who’s fighting. Why they’re fighting. Where Syria is.

Other misconceptions: The first time I heard Bob Marley’s “Stir it up” I thought he was singing “Syria”.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3UqvWk8-uw&w=420&h=315]



Alright let’s take a look at what this is all about:

Turns out Syria is in the middle east!




Also, turns out there’s a civil war going on. It started out as peaceful protests until the government cracked down on them (shot a bunch of protesters). Now there’s rebels, fights, shit’s spilling over to Israel for some reason and now Israel’s firing shit into Syria. It’s crazy but it doesn’t looki like the U.S. will be there anytime soon since we’re busy occupying a bunch of other middle eastern countries and Syria doesn’t have a ton of oil –

Oh, google autocomplete. You truly are the mirror held up to society.

What will I do with this newfound knowledge of a world event: Be the snootiest motherfucker at the party! No use having knowledge about something unless you can make yourself feel better by flaunting it around people who don’t have that knowledge! Time to go to some parties and start some conversations with casual acquaintances by with topics like “Did you hear about the scandal over at the BBC?” When they look at me confused and say they haven’t heard about it I’ll just roll my eyes, take a sip of my martini and say something dismissive like “Oh, they were just talking about it on NPR. I like to stay informed.”



Knowledge is power!