Reagan’s Blood For Sale!

That’s right! Somebody out there claims to have a vial of Reagan’s blood and currently has it up for auction! The auction is going on until Thursday and bidding is at approx. $12,000 right now.


The seller claimed that he got the vial from his mother, who worked at the hospital where the former president was treated after the failed assassination attempt. Fans of the Gipper are outraged that this guy is selling the blood (blood money is only cool with Reaganites if it’s a metaphor but the guy selling the blood said that when he was asked to donate it to the Reagan Library “I told him that I didn’t think that was something that I was going to consider,” he wrote. “… I was a real fan of Reaganomics and felt that President Reagan himself would rather see me sell it rather than donating”.



Now I’m aware most of my readers are eccentric millionaires who have the money to spend on such an odd relic but what can you do with a vial of Reagan’s blood? Here’s a few suggestions –


* Make 93 perfect clones of Reagan and spread them around the world, hoping one of them will grow up to Become Reagan and bring Reaganomics and monkey movies back to the world.

* Impress the hell out of Jodie Foster.

* Create a potion that makes people ignore AIDS.

* Drink the blood and gain all the powers of Reagan by becoming The Reaganator!



Bristling with rocket pods, Gatling guns and cannon, The latest in technology to slay the foes of Mammon




You can bid for the vial of blood here. Good luck!

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