Monthly Archives: May 2013

I’m Afraid to go Outside Right Now.

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Yesterday I heard repeatedly on the radio about how we’re going to get 3-7 inches of snow. How the morning commute was going to be shit. Meteorologists kept going on about this freak May snowstorm that was going to blanket the Twin Cities with a thick, heavy slush overnight.



This morning I turn my computer on and find out that it was worse than predicted. As much as 13 inches have been dumped as far south as Rochester and as far north as Brainerd.



I look outside and not a drop or flake is on the ground.



…what?



There… was a snowstorm, right? I get that meteorologists can fuck up their predictions sometimes but the news said there was snow!



Here’s a map with the three cities listed in the beginning of the article I linked. Minneapolis is right in the middle of that –



How...

How…





Apparently there’s snow all around me but there’s no snow in Minneapolis. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad there’s no snow but now I’m just scared that it’s waiting for me out there. Like, the second I get outside the snow’s all going to fall down in one clump like a cartoon and then the tow truck drivers come and tow my car for snow emergency because they’re a bunch of evil Satan-worshipping wizards!



…I’m putting on a jacket just to be safe.

Jerking Off for Awareness and Other Charitable Acts.

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Many of you know that I participate in several charity events throughout the year. I do several charity walks (listed on the side bar of jenayoung.com) My next one is this Sunday with my son’s stepmother who has effectively gone deaf due to MS. If you’d like to donate, you may do so at http://tinyurl.com/JenaMS. I’d really appreciate it, as I haven’t managed to raise any money for this one yet.

My son and I at the 2010 AIDS walk.

My son and I at the 2010 AIDS walk.

For most people, all that walking sounds like a lot of effort. It’s not really. But I always get people that say things like “Gross. Is there charity work I can do that’s more fun?” Well, you can’t, but I can.

I also help organize and participate in a couple of gaming marathons with High Charity. The money from the gaming marathons goes directly to Child’s Play Charity, and organization that puts gaming consoles in the rooms of hospitals with long term care children. Playing video games helps bring a bit of normalcy into an environment that is often cold and stale and scary. Our next marathon is a Masocore Marathon over Memorial Day Weekend, where we play difficult and frustrating games. You should watch us at highcharity.org and give us money for doing stupid things.

But still, for some people, that’s just too much. “An entire weekend of gaming? Gross. Is there a Lazy-a-Thon or something I can do?”

    How about a Float-a-Thon to raise money for Ronald McDonald house?

    A Review-a-Thon, where you post as many reviews on Amazon as you can.

    And yes, there is an actual Laz-a-Thon, where every dollar donated is another minute the participants don’t do anything.

But as good as all this sounds, I think my all time favorite that I happened to stumble across this morning is the Masturbate-a-Thon. A marathon of masturbation to raise awareness for, well, masturbation. The goal is to put jerking off, rubbing one out, and wanking in a positive light. It’s produced by the Center for Sex and Culture, and I can’t tell you how tickled I am that there is one. They’ve done streaming and such in the past, though I can’t find anything on the event past 2011.

I guess they just tired themselves out.