Yesterday I heard repeatedly on the radio about how we’re going to get 3-7 inches of snow. How the morning commute was going to be shit. Meteorologists kept going on about this freak May snowstorm that was going to blanket the Twin Cities with a thick, heavy slush overnight.



This morning I turn my computer on and find out that it was worse than predicted. As much as 13 inches have been dumped as far south as Rochester and as far north as Brainerd.



I look outside and not a drop or flake is on the ground.



…what?



There… was a snowstorm, right? I get that meteorologists can fuck up their predictions sometimes but the news said there was snow!



Here’s a map with the three cities listed in the beginning of the article I linked. Minneapolis is right in the middle of that –

Apparently there’s snow all around me but there’s no snow in Minneapolis. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad there’s no snow but now I’m just scared that it’s waiting for me out there. Like, the second I get outside the snow’s all going to fall down in one clump like a cartoon and then the tow truck drivers come and tow my car for snow emergency because they’re a bunch of evil Satan-worshipping wizards!



…I’m putting on a jacket just to be safe.