I really want to write about something else. I would love nothing more than to do a stupid post replying to some craigslist job ad or rip into Michele Bachmann but that’s just not happening. It’s all over the news, it’s on everybody’s minds and it’s been on my mind since I heard about it right as it happened on the radio yesterday.



Yesterday a couple of bombs went off towards the finish line of the Boston Marathon in an act of terror, killing three and wounding over a hundred. The President has stayed away from using the word “terrorist” for the attack and I can understand why. This country equates terror with Middle Eastern muslims who want to destroy our freedom or something but terrorism doesn’t solely belong to anti western jihadists. Terrorism is nothing more than an act used to instill fear in people. To make them feel like they’re not safe when they should be.



If this was a terror attack, it didn’t work.



One of the things that struck me yesterday was the instant online reaction to the attack. The last time something like this happened on American soil was September 11th, 2001. That was 12 years ago. 12 years ago there was no facebook or twitter. This was pre-MySpace. Most homes only had 56k internet connections and we’d just use them to go into aol chatrooms or check out hamsterdance.com.



I didn’t even own a cellphone in 2001. After the attack, I just holed up in my brother’s apartment all day as we watched the news. We could only judge how the country felt based on the media reaction. Yesterday, everybody was online and posting their reactions and feelings to the tragedy. You could just check out your smartphone to see how everybody you know was feeling.

The first thing I saw was people trying to see if everybody was okay. People from everywhere who had friends or family in Boston were either asking them to “check in” or reporting on their status for others. After that I mostly saw people sharing this –







and this.







That’s what people are talking about. Not how this changes everything or how we’ll have to beef up security. People are talking about how awesome it was to see so many people rush to help out without even thinking about it.



Of course, that hasn’t been the only online reaction to this tragedy. I’ve seen plenty of posts promising retaliation against those responsible and that’s perfectly natural. There’s been the shitty shock value jokes that are offensive but ultimately harmless. I’ve even seen more than one person hop on the Alex Jones bandwagon and blame the government for the attack but all of these combined are still a fraction of those I’ve seen of people “looking for the helpers” and bolstering their faith in humanity.



Might be some hope for us after all.

Bill and I are very different people sound-wise. He spent his early 20’s going to indy punk concerts, standing way too close to the speakers, rocking out to electric guitars and chain saws. I spent much of my early 20’s listening to classical music, opera, and going to folk concerts.

This is why Bill has to have the volume up to 80 gagillion and sleeps with a fan on. And why I can hear things like the refrigerator running and the tiny little buzz of the lights.

Side note- you guys remember that ring tone that the teens were passing around like 6 years ago? It was supposed to be a ring that only teens could hear. It’s based on hearing ability that we lose as we age. Anyway, one day at work, this site was being passed around by everyone, testing their hearing. People kept talking about how they couldn’t hear them, turning the sound up to try to hear it…. So I had all these incredibly annoying high pitched noises all around me that only I could hear. It was awful.

Anyway, evil noises are evil. But soothing noises… I love games with soothing sounds behind them. I picked games to today’s Fuck Off Friday that could be played without the noise because some places of employment are like that. But really? Find time to play them when you can listen to the sound.

The first one is Music Catch. You have to collect falling notes. Some are good, some are bad. It’s enough engagement to where you’re not just clicking things, but the sound element is very soothing.

While looking for a specific game (I still haven’t found it) I stumbled across this fantastic piece of marketing. It’s a “music video game”… a video game made for a song, kind of like if MTV did video games. The game itself is not super exciting, but I love the concept. They’re a little too… trying to make a point. Not much, but just enough for me to be all “oh, I see what you did there.” Still, what do you expect from a song called Inside a Dead Skyscraper ? This one might just be a matter of taste.

And then there’s anything done by Ferry Halim. Seriously. I have a mad artist crush on this person. Every game is visually soft and pleasing, the sound often incorporated. My personal favorite is starry night.

What’s frustrating is there is a great game I wanted to share with you all that I just can’t find. It’s got kind of these sketch graphics, and as you move forward, the music plays forward, and you have to jump to hit the notes to keep the music playing.

If you stumble across it, could you let me know? Also, please share your favorite music based games in the comments below. I need more ways to fuck off this Friday.

I did bad thing. I make drinks go in me. I said no booze after new years but last night booze was tasty and now I no have brain.



Brain Hurtey real bad. Tummy gurgling and eyes hurt. Thinking hard. Want to make blog go but brain hurt ’cause the booze.



The booze didn’t hurt last night. Booze felt great. Drinks happened and everything was fun. More and more drinks happened and I went home and went to sleep real late and I wake up now and everything bad. Nothing is fun. The world is scary and my breath smell bad.



I no like this. Booze make fun times but after booze is dark, dark times.



No more booze. Time to make resolution stick. Brain hurteys are no fun. Gut times are terrible, too. Too old. Too old for booze



I go bathroom now because of booze. I go bathroom forever because of booze. Hate you, booze.



Stupid booze.

Last week kicked off our Fuck Off Fridays, where we post internet time wasters for your Friday needs.

Today’s is about secrets.

First off, if you haven’t heard of Post Secret, gather several of your friends together to help you move out from under that giant rock. Offer them pizza and beer to lift the couch. Or bake them cookies.

Mmmmm… cookies….

Post Secret is an art project where people send in postcards with secrets on them, and the “secret currator” selects the best ones and puts them on the internet. Like the above secret.

Does that sound like too much work? Secret Tweet might be a better option for you… you post a secret on their website… HEY! Looks like they’ve been down since December. Huh. Guess some people are a little too lazy.

That’s okay- I’ve found some alternatives. Secret Talk looks like it wants to be a secrets website, but about half of it is spammy stuff or… well, kinda like an anonymous message board. But there are some good ones in there, so it might be worth a look.

Another alternative is Six Billion Secrets. It has a voting system so you can upvote your favorite secrets. It’s like an anonymous popularity contest.

Too hipster for secrets? Try Post Rejects, a satire site of Post Secret. It’s no longer updated, but what they have there is pretty clever, and we like clever.

So there you go. Plenty of ways for you to fuck off this Friday!

I’m a big fan of April Fool’s pranks. Usually I’ll just do something harmless like pretend to quit my job or come out of the closet to my parents but I’ve never really done anything big. I tried once. When Jena and I were first dating we orchestrated a big fight in public and then broke up on facebook (and myspace. It was a long time ago). When we revealed it was an April Fool’s prank our friends either didn’t care or were really pissed off at us. Since that one backfired on us I haven’t really a grand April Fool’s prank. I’ll just never be able to pull one off. Not like Ben.



My friend Ben executed the greatest AF prank I’ve ever seen.



I can’t remember if it was junior or senior year but Ben and I were in the backstage of the auditorium for after school rehearsal of the school play. There were these narrow metal stairs that went up about 20 feet to reach the catwalk. High enough that I’d only climbed to the top once due to my fear of heights.



Ben committed suicide by hanging himself off the catwalk backstage.



Not really. It looked like it, though. See, Ben had bought this book of magic tricks and one of them was a trick noose. It looked just like a regular noose but you put two more ropes in the slipknot that looped under your armpits and supported them so none of your body weight was hanging under the neck loop. You wouldn’t even notice the additional ropes if you were looking from straight ahead or far enough away.



Ben told a couple of us friends to help him set up the whole gag and he did it. He had somebody help him into the harness/noose and gently lower him from the catwalk platform, I made sure nobody wandered back into the area during rehearsal and when it was all ready, Steve ran out to tell everybody.



This was the most important task. He had to come out and pretend that he just found his classmate’s dead body. This type of acting is a little above the high school level but he did it. Sobbing and shaking, he ran out on stage and just said “You guy’s! Ben is… backstage… Oh, God!” and fell to his knees, pointing towards the backstage area with the catwalk stairs. There were a couple dozen kids at rehearsal and we all went back to see what was going on and there he was.



Dangling from the catwalk. Neck to the side, body limp. He was even swinging on the rope ever so slightly like you see when people hang themselves in movies. Kids started freaking out. People screamed and collapsed. Girls were weeping uncontrollably. It was complete pandemonium backstage at the Tartan High School auditorium and then Ben opened his eyes, smiled, waved at everybody and said “April Fools!”



Now when he told me about the prank I didn’t give the aftermath much thought. I just figured when it was revealed that he was, in fact, alive that everybody would have a good laugh but that was not how that played out at all. Girls were still crying. People were pale and visibly shaken. One kid was dry heaving off into a corner. Looking back I now realize that these were all kids. Drama kids, no less and for a moment they all thought that they had just seen their first dead body and it was their friend.



It was the first time I had ever realize a prank could go overboard and to this day was the best prank I had ever seen.

So here we are… the Tuesday after Easter. There are candy wrappers and leftover ham, half eaten chocolate bunnies, random bits of Easter grass, and only the ugly Easter eggs are left. Easter is done. Just a little clean up left.”

There’s a bit more to clean up if you live in Norway. Their Easter holiday starts the Wednesday before Maundy Thursday and ends this morning. Almost a full week of Jesus!

And what do they do during that time? They solve crime.

What? Jesus is missing? I’ll solve this!!

Norway has a lovely little tradition of publishing “Påskekrimmen,” or Easter Crimes. Little mysteries/thrillers pop up all over, from books to packaging. If you can print on it, there’s a crime to solve.

Their public radio station has been broadcasting Easter Crimes since 1980. I happened to stumble across a series they’s been known to reprise often called “Dickie Dick Dickens” – a parody of American crime clichés produced by Germans in the 1960’s.

From the translated Wikipedia page:

Dickie Dick Dickens was the most dangerous man on the American continent, and the king of Chicago’s underworld. He began as a pickpocket and ended as gangster boss.
When Dickie Dick Dickens of somehow threatened or in a dangerous situation, he was always the problem in an elegant, clever and often humorous way. He was a great admirer of his beloved fiancée, Effie Marconi.

It’s also happens to feature a “lawyer Hillbilly.” I want to know how the Germans view Hillbillies. Like, I can’t even wrap my brain around that one.

Still, it can’t be nearly as amusing as actual Easter crimes. For instance, a San Diego cop pulled over the Easter Bunny on a motorcylcle.

The bunny, on his way to a charity event, didn’t have a helmet and was cited for obstructed vision through the bunny head. The officer gave him a warning, but the person under the costume had to take of the bunny head for the rest of the bike ride.

Click to the article… there’s video.

But that’s nothing compared to the fight at an Easter egg hunt.

Not the kids. The mothers.

Two kids were headed for an egg. The mother of one of them pushed the other child out of the way. THAT child’s mother got pissed, and the two of them got into fisticuffs. They had to be separated three or four times.

And that’s why we don’t do Easter egg hunts at Walmart.