I have a problem. A drinking problem. It started about 6 months ago. I’d never had such an amazing drink before. I could mix it to my specifications, to my desired strength and flavor. They came out with more flavors, and I had to try them all. I keep it with me much of the time, I have at least a drink a day, often up to 3 or 4.

I am addicted to MiO.

This is my favorite flavor.

Now, I know it’s a gimmick. I’m paying a lot of money for flavored water that I have to make myself. I’ paying for the pleasure of using that little sqeezy bottle. I mean, one bottle of MiO makes 96 fl oz of flavor water, or there about. That’s only a day and a half of flavored water according to the 8 glasses of 8 oz of water a day.

But we love our justifications, don’t we?

THERE’S A FLIP TOP! AND I CAN SQUEEZE AS MUCH OUT AS I WANT AT A TIME!

Uh huh. You just paid $4 for a little squeezy toy. Freezy pops are a better investment.

BUT ELECTROLYTES! VITAMIN B! NO CALORIES! NO SUGAR!

And synthetic sugar and flavorings and caffeine and red dye. Dumbass.

IT’S GREAT FOR ON THE GO!

You know what else is? Anything you think to take with you. Like water. That you didn’t have to spend the time adding flavor to.

I CAN USE IT TO FLAVOR MY DRINKING WATER AT FEST SO IT TASTES LESS LIKE DIRT.

It’s February. Fest isn’t for another 6 months.

IT’S KOSHER AND VEGAN!

You are not Jewish. And the MiO isn’t Vegan- it doesn’t eat things. You mean it’s animal product free. And that still doesn’t matter cause you eat steak. Lots of steak.

IT’S DAIRY FREE!

Well shit. You got me there. Almost nothing is casein free. Non-dairy creamer still has synthetic dairy proteins. so, I guess, drink up!

YEA! *squirt squirt squirt*

Dumbass.