In an effort to connect with fans and show that he hasn’t lost touch with his country roots, Randy Travis was arrested earlier this week for drunk driving and threatening police officers.
I think we’ve found his next album cover!
Luckily, a couple of fans bailed him out because they knew what he was doing.
See, you may not realize this but Randy Travis is a method country music writer. Much like the method actor, he has to completely immerse himself into the feeling of a song if he wants to write. He was just trying to get into the mindset of writing a new song. It hasn’t been released yet but I’ve pulled a few strings to get a leaked copy of the lyrics. Here you go! –
“You Broke My Heart, I Broke The Law, My Car And My Liver”
Well ever since you left me,
I’ve done nothin’ every day but drink,
So to clear my head, I stripped naked,
drove to the store to think,
I wanted to buy some cigarettes but my
naked body carried no cash
wrapped my car around a telephone pole,
decided I’d follow suit and crash,
well the cops showed up a half hour later
and, you could blame this on the booze
but when they woke me I was a might rowdy
from them interrupting my snooze
I said “I’ll kiiiiiiill you fucking pigs!
Do you know who the fuck I am?
I’m country superstar Randy Travis!
King of this podunk land!”
(end chorous)
the police didn’t take kindly to
the way I ranted and wailed
They tazered my nutsack and roughed me up
and before I knew, I was jailed
But lucky for me we’re in the south
I’m famous and I’m white
Some hillbillies took pity on me
and bailed me out the next night
He’s not some pathetic, has been, belligerent drunk. He’s an artist.