Hey, kids! Daddy has a splitting headache right now so how about a story from my honeymoon with Jena so I don’t have to read every news site on the internet for something to make fun of? Here we go!

The suite we’re staying at has a guest book where people can share their experience with future guests. Many are from newlywed couples or people celebrating their anniversary talking about how amazing Split Rock Lighthouse is (holy shit it’s just a lighthouse. Calm the fuck down middle aged couples from Blaine). Some people let their children write their log into the book which can range from adorable to… this.



6/22/08
MAYBELINE SEEN A GOSTE IN THE HOT TUB. WE THOT IT WAS PA, COME BACK FOR HIS $ SO WE BURNT A PUNKIN DOWN BY THE LAKE FER JEEZUS TO COME HELP!
VERNON GUTRANKLE, TN.



Burning pumpkins are like the bat signal but for Jesus.