Alright, while there’s still plenty more Mexico stuff for me to talk about (I should have interviews and stuff up by Friday), let’s take a break and talk about what’s going on with me stateside. If you’re still yearning for some insight on the Akumal Comedy Festival check out Ian Rans’ coverage of the fest for citypages.com!



I got home on Monday night. Watched some netflix with my family and went to bed early. When I woke up the next day I realized most of my t-shirts were in my duffel bag and dirty. There was some clean-but-yet-to-be-hung-up laundry on the floor and one pink t-shirt. I grabbed the pink tee since it seemed easier than bending over and digging through laundry for five seconds. Pink wouldn’t be my first choice but whatever. I just spent a week with my shirt off. Simply putting on a shirt seemed alien to me.



Later that day I went to the elementary school by my house to pick up the kid I babysit. I went to the lunchroom where all the kids wait for their parents/family/babysitters and he’s hanging out with some kids in his grade (Kindergarten). One of the kids look at my shirt and says “HEY! PINK IS A GIRL’S COLOR! BOY’S CAN’T WEAR PINK!”, pounding his tiny little fist into my chest for emphasis.



Okay. I don’t really care if you’re raising your kid to be a traditional “girls like pink and dolls and dancing and boys love dirt and sports and blah blah”. Not the way I play ball but you can teach your kids whatever you want. It’s your right as an American. Your kid starts correcting other people on that sort of stuff? Then I have a problem. My first instinct was to pick him up by the shoulders and put him up against the wall at eye level with me. All 260 pounds, shaved head and beard six inches away from his face and say “Does it look girly on me?”



I obviously didn’t do this. School administrators tend to frown upon physical threats against their youngest students (I’m pretty sure you can rough em’ up if they’re 4th or 5th grade) and he’s like 5 or 6 years old. Kids just say the first things that pop into their heads when they’re that age. Just ask anybody who’s obese or missing a limb. I just bent down to his level and said “Boys can wear whatever color they like. Same goes for girls.” The boy I babysit said “I like pink!” and I responded with “That’s because you’re awesome”. We high fived and walked out of there.

Later yesterday my wife and I went to the T-Mobile store to rework our plans into a family plan and upgrade my phone. My budget narrowed it down to two smart phones. The Samsung Gravity and a T-Mobile MyTouch. The sales guy (Trent, knew his shit and super helpful) told me to stay away from the MyTouch and to get the cheaper Gravity. The floor model was in pink but he assured me that they had a blue one in back.



“Fuck that. Get me the pink.” I asked if they had any Hello Kitty skins or rainbow and unicorn stickers. Trent assured me that Unicorns are actually very manly and if I showed up the next day with a unicorn tramp stamp he would give me the phone for free. I decided to pay the twenty bucks.

Me with my pink shirt and my pink phone in my pink bathroom. I'm a pretty pretty princess!