I really have to hand it to you. You’ve got exquisite taste. Choosing to read youngnotions.com shows that you will settle for nothing less than the most sophisticated in poorly informed political satire, fart jokes and pictures of potatoes that look like butts.

Now you may think that I’m just kissing the ass of you, the reader because this is the last day you can vote in the 2012 city pages readers poll and it’s true.

You can either click this picture or the hyperlink above. Your choice.

It shows how clever you are that you were able to see right through me. It’ll take more than mere flattery to impress somebody as intelligent as you. I get that now. How about this? Rather than beg you for a vote, I’ll show you why you should vote for youngnotions.com for “best blog” or any other category you see fit (best villain?). I’ll take you on a trip down memory lane and link the most popular posts on the site because that’s way easier than coming up with something new (it’s like a clip show!).

1: Guess Who Just Sold Me Ten Boxes of Girl Scout Cookies?
This post is, to date the most viewed one on the site. I guess I hit the perfect activism/gluttony ratio on this one. I tried to see if there was any follow up on the whole “girl scout cookie boycott” but the girl removed the video like a day after she posted it. The website honestgirlscouts.com hasn’t updated their website since the whole debacle went down and their facebook group is closed (you can’t even see the posts, much less comment on them, unless you ask to join the group and are accepted). Protip: If your viewpoints can’t stand even a little outside scrutiny, they might be shitty viewpoints.

On a completely unrelated note all comments for new users on youngnotions.com are moderated.

2: So I Went to Jail Last Night.
This one was the 2nd most viewed and by far, longest thing I’ve ever written (the story even spilled out into a second post the next day. Ever since I saw the reaction those posts generated I’ve been hard at work plotting a crime that will put me in jail for a long, long time so I’ll have way more to write about. Stay tuned.

3: That Girl in the “One Weird Trick to Stay Asleep All Night” Ad.
Okay, I’m not saying this one sucks but it really doesn’t deserve the #3 spot. This one has gotten popular solely off of pervs googling “That Girl in the ‘One Weird Trick to Stay Asleep All Night’ ad”. One perv even commented because he was mad that the girl in the “one weird trick” ad I had on the post was a different “one weird trick” girl than the “one weird trick” girl he was looking for.
Joby PERMALINK
March 2, 2012 1:15 pm
I have checked on the somnipure model about six times (though Im not the everyday guy but you must be exagerrating anyways or the number would be more than thirty).
I seriously doubt you have the right model. That is one nasty looking girl and something happened to her hair.
I would gladly send you a pic but not sure it would do me any good. You could certainly benefit from using a bit more brainpower when making silly blog entries. They do have about five different models; why assume its that freakazoid?
Sorry my shoddy research isn’t helping your stalker-like obsession with some obscure model. Hey, speaking of pervs –

4: Hey, Kids! Fuck You!
Here’s another one that got a lot of hits from search engines. This post specifically got a lot from two words in the title. The words were not “hey” and “you”. The post was about a news story on how some restaurants are now going “kid free”. Imagine the pedophiles’ disappointment when they click the link only to find a story about restaurants 86ing their favorite menu item. Oh well. Thanks for reading, creeps!

5: Here’s My Excuses
The only explanation I have for this one being popular is that making fun of the disabled always works. Always.

Honorable Mention: Scourge of Trees and Americans Everywhere.
This is the least viewed of my 203 posts. Seriously. It got fewer hits than when I posted a blog about not posting a blog because I’m sick. Lesson learned. Don’t fuck with Paul Bunyan.

There we go. Five wonderful reasons to go ahead and vote for youngnotions.com because without validation I’ll wither and die!