Here’s part of a conversation Jena and I had on the phone yesterday as I was driving home from Illinois.

ME: Don’t forget Jared has spring break next week.

JENA: I wish I had spring break.

ME: Well hey, you have a whole week off of work this month. That’s just like spring break.

JENA: Yeah, but I’ll have to do all the homemaker stuff. It’s not like I’m going to be in Mexico all week (note: she didn’t provide a hyperlink in our phone conversation. I’m doing this for you, the reader, to add some context. You’re welcome).

ME: Hey! That’s going to be hard work for me.

JENA: You’re doing what, three shows? You get to go scuba diving!

ME: Exactly! While underwater I’m basically acting as an ambassador to the surface world. Our diplomatic relationship with Poseidon’s kingdom is tense as it is. What if I fart down there? First the oil spill and now this? Aquaman will not be happy. There’s also going to be a lot of drinking on a beach, which isn’t as easy as it sounds.

JENA: Uh huh.

ME: I’m probably going to explore a bunch of Mayan Ruins, too. What if I end up knocking over an artifact and invoke the rage of Quetzalcoatl? Now I’ve got the Curse of the Feathered Serpent to deal with. This isn’t going to be easy.

JENA: You know you could use this conversation in the blog, right?

ME: Eh, only if I can’t think of anything funny tomorrow.

"WHO DARES DRUNKENLY URINATING IN THE TEMPLE OF THE FEATHERED SERPENT?!?"