MSNBC reports that fashion models are organizing a rights group called “Model Alliance” to fight back against an industry that treats them like… objects you put clothes on.

Seriously, though. The article reveals that the fashion industry is like only two degrees less skeezy than porn. Models usually start at a really young age, get paid in clothes instead of cash, get sexually harassed and sometimes even assaulted by photographers and designers. There’s also an incredibly but unsurprising rate of depression among models (that can happen when you’re 5’10, 105 pounds and some french guy with a camera is throwing things at you and making pig noises).

The formation of this…union? Team? Activist group? I don’t know what to call it. Whatever. The formation of Model Alliance, while obviously overdue is surprising to a lot of people who normally don’t think of routine abuse and emotional scarring when it comes to the fashion industry. Really, most people think of models as these lucky beautiful women who make millions of dollars for walking down runways in outfits that nobody but Lady Gaga would ever buy –

Wait. Those are clothes? Like, you can buy that in a store and wear it and go places? Really?

I just wonder if this is going to be enough? The article talks about how the alliance formed because so many models are afraid to speak up when mistreated because they’re so easily replaced (turns out it’s an entry level job) so can a union really work in such an environment? For the safety of these women I think we should just retool the whole business completely. Do away with human models. I know that the job of the model is pretty complicated but with advances in modern robotics we can actually have machines do a model’s job with 100% efficiency. I present to you: The Mannequin –

The latest in high tech model replacement.

The mannequin has been designed to do every task a model has including:

*wear clothes

Unlike the model, however, the mannequin has several advantages such as:

*cannot become addicted to heroin

*can be as thin as designer wishes without adverse effects to health

*cannot be raped

*unable to try to transition into acting career

From the director of oh wait he didn't direct anything else.

This would leave a lot of women out of a job but it’s the only way to be safe. All those impossibly beautiful women will just have to become marine biologists or whatever it is hot chicks say they want to do these days.