Remember when Donald Trump and Sarah Palin were the front runners for republican nomination?  I miss that.  It seems like just yesterday that the Tea Party psychos were calling the shots and the republican primary was going to be a fucking circus full of unelectable morons who constantly vomit wildly inaccurate verbal diarrhea from their stupid mouths.  Even Bachmann’s viability is in question now that it’s been revealed that she practically fixedthe Iowa Straw Poll.  It seems that a new front runner is emerging. Texas Governer and corn dog deep-throater Rick Perry.

Although he’s the current Governor of Texas and was George W. Bush’s Lieutenant Governor, people are quick to say he’s not some Bush: The Sequel. In fact, he’s more Texan than Bush.  How is he more Texan than Bush?  Well, for one, he carries a fucking gun everywhere he goes.

Governor Perry on the campaign trail.

In the above linked article, he proudly proclaims that he carries a gun when he’s out jogging to fend off wild animals (on one jog he shot a coyote who was threatening his dog).  When asked if he’d carry around a gun during his campaign he didn’t answer and added “That’s why they’re called ‘concealed'”.

Let’s ignore the fact that a man seeking the highest office in the United States is offering riddles, half answers and winks about carrying a fucking firearm around and, if nominated, he’ll have a secret service detail to protect him so having a gun at that point it little more than overcompensating for a tiny penis.  Is this really the guy you want as your man, Republicans?  What happens if, during the primaries, Bachmann says something inflammatory and wildly inaccurate about Perry (it’s a stretch but it could happen)?  Will he just pull out a white glove, slap her in the face and challenge her to a duel?  Pistols at dawn would spell doom for Bachmann if all she has to defend herself is a replica musket stuffed full of tea bags.

Don’t mess with Texas, people.