Hey, Billophiliacs! I’ll be featuring at the Joke Joint Comedy Club(click for location, show times, recipes etc.) all weekend and this weekend is extra special because I have merchandise to sell! Stand Up! Records put together a compilation album to be released at CONvergence and I’m on along with the likes of Andy Brynildson, Pat Bauer, Mike Brody, Bryan Miller, Andy Erickson, Amber Preston, Pat Susmilch, Gus Lynch, James Moore, Brandi Brown, Chris Knutson and Nate Abshire!
- wraparound cover for Nerd Alert!
Every comic on it is super hilarious and we were all given some copies to do with what we will. I’m going to sell mine like the a good little capitalist!
While it’s common for comics to sell t-shirts and cds because the average pay for a feature act hasn’t gone up since I started doing stand up, this is the first time I’ve had anything to sell after a show since I tried to sell DVDs of the old sketch comedy group I was in (I got discouraged after a weekend in Iowa only selling three DVDs and having to explain what sketch comedy was to people in Burlington, IA “You ever seen Mr. Show? How about Kids in the Hall? No, it’s nothing like Mad TV.”). While the CD is amazing, the economy is not and I’m not completely confident in my ability to sell it straightforward like. I’ve been considering other sales tactics.
1: Question the audience’s sexuality. If a guy’s with a girl, accuse him of being gay. If he’s with a guy, accuse him of being straight. Nobody likes their sexuality questioned and I’ll make them prove they like having sex with the gender they say they do by buying a Nerd Alert CD.
2: Claim that Nerd Alert will increase their penis size by three inches. In case you’re wondering, I tried and it doesn’t but neither does any of the other products that make the same claim and they get away with it. If anybody comes back and complains I’ll just say that Nerd Alert only increases the penis size of those that are pure of heart.
3: Tell them my wife will beat me if I don’t sell at least three CDs a night. This one may be true hahahahahaha (help me).
So come on out, have some laughs and buy a CD because while the image of my wife cartoonishly chasing me with a rolling pin may seem funny on paper, 5 pounds of solid wood can actually do a lot of damage to a human skull!