San Fransico…nians get to vote November on a bill to outlaw circumcision of anybody under the age of 18 in the city. The supporters who, seriously call themselves “intactavists”, say that it’s a form of genital mutilation that’s unnecessary, painful and even dangerous. Although many say it’s protected by the First Amendment, the intactavists (they actually call themselves that) say that religious practices aren’t protected if they’re too barbaric. Case in point –

KALI MAA!

As if turning a gag from the first episode of Arrested Development wasn’t ridiculous enough, intactavist and Jim Lee Art School of Huge Tits and Muscles graduate Mathew Hess created the superhero comic book Foreskin Man!

"Is that emblem on his chest a -" Yes. Yes it is.

Here’s the actual, not made up plot for Foreskin Man.

Miles Hastwick is the curator for the Museum of Genital Integrity in San Diego. When he’s not literally showing patrons exhibits such as a wax figure of a baby looking terrified as a doctor looms over him with a bloody scalpel, he flies around as Foreskin Man, protecting baby dicks from the evils of such villians as Dr. Mutilator and Monster Mohel.

Yes, Monster Mohel.

I first found Foreskin man after issue two prompted Gawker to point out its blatent anti-semitism. Hess stated that they’re “not trying to be anti-Semitic. We’re trying to be pro-human rights.”. You can go to foreskinman.com and read issue two for yourself or I can just describe it for you (Warning! Spoilers ahead!).

Miles Hastwick (aka Foreskin Man) goes on a date with a woman to her nephew’s bris. The mother decided to not have the baby circumcised but the father has different plans. Everybody’s having a good time when suddenly a 1920s political cartoon bursts through the door. At either side is a henchman sporting a yarmulke, ringlets and automatic weapons (I’m not jewish but I guess machine guns are a tradition thing?). Miles puts on his Foreskin Man outfit and beats the shit out of them. As he has Monster Mohel in a headlock, he blurts out “You th-think you’ve won, Foreskin Man? Jethro (the father) wants Glick (the unfortunately named baby) circumcised. I’ll just keep coming back until his foreskin is m-mine!” Foreskin Man realizes the Mohel who is also a monster is right so he kidnaps the baby and gives him to some hippies on the beach. They have a bonfire made out of stuff they stole from a hospital.

All in a day’s work for Foreskin Man!