Today marks the exciting conclusion of the US Budget Shitshow trilogy. The Debt Ceiling, the Fiscal Cliff and now finally the Sequestor. For the few of you who don’t know what this is about, I’ll fucking break this shit down for you.



America’s fucked. We owe a bunch of fucking money to China or whatever. We were flying high 12 years ago but then Bush put in a bunch of tax cuts. The Bush tax cuts alone wouldn’t have fucked us but then two wars and the economy tanking royally fucked us and now we’re fucked.



Like, seriously fucked.



So the government is trying to fix this shit but these fuckers can’t agree on shit. The Democrats, usually represented in the media by the fucking president –

Think that we should fix this shit by fucking rich people with tax hikes to the top earners. The fucking republicans, usually represented in the media by the fucking speaker of the house –




(note: This is his official congressional portrait. I didn’t choose this pic simply because he’s obviously wearing pretty heavy makeup. Seriously though he looks like he was going to a showing of Rocky Horror as soon as that photo shoot was done.)



Want to fuck poor people by gutting social programs.



Both fucking sides can’t agree on who to fuck. The best option would probably be to fuck everybody just a little but neither side wants to look like they’re fucking the fuckers who fucking voted for them so they’re not fucking moving. Since they can’t compromise we’re now royally fucked.



Defense is getting fucking slashed. Government employees are going to get fucking furloughed. All this shit is gonna rain down on us like a fucking diarrhea waterfall.



All because these fuckers in Washington can’t get their fucking heads out of their asses.



It’s a bunch of fucking bullshit.