Well here we are. I haven’t done a single blog this week and now my back’s up against a wall and forced to do one on Valentine’s Day as a divorced guy.
For five years Valentine’s Day was a breeze. You just shower your loved one with affection. As a single guy there’s so much ambiguity with Valentine’s Day. Frankly I’m happily single but with all the advertisement, sad single people shouting how Valentine’s Day is a bullshit corporate holiday just to hide their sadness etc. I really feel like I need to do something. I can’t simply ignore the holiday. I need to make some sort of declaration so here we go.
I know we’ve only been together a short time but every time with you I need to touch you, taste you. I never thought I could feel this way again but I want to be with you every day. I… love you. I love you, Cookie Dough Oreos
…okay that actually sounded way sadder than I thought it would.
Happy Valentine’s Day, fuckers!
Holy shit! Those exist?! I had vibrators delivered today but I’m still a little disappointed that I don’t have those cookies.
Which makes it the least amount of disappointment I’ve ever had on Valentine’s Day.