There are time wasters, and then there are things that are a complete waste of time.

Such as JelloTime.com. All it is is an image of jello. you move your mouse over it, and it wiggles.

And I can’t stop doing it. It’s the dumbest thing. Dumber than stress balls, which are the worst marketing ploy ever. “Let’s put our logo on a piece of foam and tell people it’ll make them feel better.”

Because turkey.

And yet, here we are. Cubes covered in shitty stress balls that we often play with out of, well, usually boredom.

What about a regular bouncy ball? That at least makes more sense. Just throw it into a box and watch it bounce around.

How about Bubble Wrap? People often talk about how therapeutic bubble wrap is… just get that frustration out in a miniscule act of destruction.

We often collect other weird toys to have at the cube. Like those sticky stretchy hands that you wack against the side of the wall on that strip that isn’t covered in fabric, so you can have the satisfaction of pulling it away.

Why is that so very satisfying?

Another cube toy is the snow globe. I’m particularly fond of this one, because it has little people doing things, and when you shake it up, they go right back to doing whatever they were doing before.

But I think the ultimate in office toys is the Magic 8 Ball. I used to have a sarcastic 8 ball, where I would ask it a question, and it would respond with things like “yeah right!” and “…and maybe I’m the pope.”

Here’s the problem with online Magic 8 balls… no shaking. I went through probably a dozen of these, and they were all just fancy displays for answers… no shaking. And that’s the satisfying part.

Programmers, make me a magic 8 ball I can shake, and I will pimp the shit out of your site. Until then, here’s just a few that I found online:

This one looks alright.
Possibly the oldest online 8 ball.
This one should be better for how pretty the site is.
This one looks like a student project.
For people who like dragons and shitty animation.
This one has some favorite answers, such as “seek Jesus” and “go on a diet.”

The best one, where the image at least shakes.

Happy slacking!