People say you should not judge a book by it’s cover and that’s true unless it’s a hardcover book and the inside jacket which contains a brief description of the book and bio of the author are still technically part of the cover.  Really, you shouldn’t charge a paperback book or hardcover missing it’s jacket by their covers.

With that being said, the Minnesota Fringe Festival is starting this week and with over 5,000 shows and 80,000 performances happening in over a dozen theaters, a novice fringe festival patron may be a bit overwhelmed in deciding what to see. Rather than waste time scouring over reviews, previews heviews and sheviews I suggest choosing shows based on how ridiculous their names are. Here are my top five.

The Vampire Lesbians of Sodom by Charles Bush

I haven’t read any of the description but I assume this is a stage adaptation of a Cinemax late night original movie.

Angelina Jolie is a Zionist Whore! or, Plan 9 From Baghdad

I know it’s not the case but it would be hilarious if this was a fringe play created by artsy conceptual terrorists.

YARRRH!  The Lusty, Busty Pirate Musical.  

You had me at lusty, entrenched my opinion with busty, left me ambiguous with pirate and almost but didn’t lose me at musical.

The Folly of Crowds: a heterosexual buttsex play

Heh.  You said buttsex.

Robot Lincoln: The Revengeance (the musical)

I had to peek at the description on this one.  I figured it would be about a reanimated cyborg Lincoln taking revenge against a deranged John Wilkes Booth.  Turns out I was mostly right.

So there you go, potential fringer.  You can pick what to see based solely on the titles or just do what I do and go see all the shows your friends are in so they won’t guilt you later!