In this crazy political climate where people like Michele Bachmann are taken seriously as a presidential candidate and the state government in MN has shut down because it can’t come to a budget agreement, it’s nice to know that on the local level you still have some honest, good, not crazy stupid politicians that just want to work to make their town a better place.

Or, the local politicians are even fucking crazier than anybody.

Case in point, a city council member in St. Francis drove to Chicago and mailed a fake Grenade to himself. Once he received the package, he called the cops and said he received a suspicious looking package in the mail. He insisted the police open it for him, stating that it could be a bomb because he’s in politics and has a lot of enemies.

I don’t know how many enemies a city council member can have, much less a city council member in St. Francis, MN (located on the corner of “where the fuck are we?” and “holy shit is that a Casey’s General Store? We are really off the beaten path here.”) and the police shared the same thought because they refused to open it. Frustrated at the police’s utter disregard for a crazy person’s ramblings, he opened the package himself in front of the officers to reveal a fake hand grenade with a note that said “the next one will be real”.

The cops called him out on his bullshit and he admitted he mailed it to himself to get sympathy from the public. Which leaves me with a few questions.

1. Why a hand grenade? Don’t you have to pull a pin to make those work? Mailing somebody a hand grenade is more like a weird gift than a threat. Was he going to mail himself a fake time bomb but worried that a bunch of hot dogs taped to an alarm clock might spoil?

2. Why go all the way to Chicago? Nobody in Chicago knows that St. Francis, MN is an actual town. He would have been better off mailing it from Elk River. It’s close enough to be plausable and nobody trusts those shady Elk River bastards anyway.

3. How was that supposed to garner sympathy from the public? Was he going to have yard signs made that said “Leroy Shaffer: Survived a truly piss poor attempt at assasination!”

4. Why did he need sympathy from the public? It’s not an election year. Do you even vote for city council in small towns? I thought those jobs just went to any grown up who owned more than two suits.

Thank you, Concilman Shaffer, for proving that elected officials on any level can be completely fucking bananas.