Can we all just admit that google won? Does anybody use other search engines? The only other one I know still exists is bing because they spent a gazillion dollars advertising and it turns out they were just ripping off google anyway. Google’s the best when it comes to searching. The reason they’re on top is because nobody can do better.



While google may be on top, there’s one man that thinks he can do better. That man is MC Hammer.



MC Hammer is making his own search engine called wiredoo. I initially found out when friend, comedian and black person Brandi Brown shared an Onion AV club story about wiredoo. I initially thought it was an actual Onion article because he’s MC Hammer but it turns out it’s true. I guess somebody had to fill the void in the tech world that was left when Steve Jobs died.



The search engine is supposed to do “deep searches” and “relationship searches”. So (from the CBS article) “An example Hammer gave is searching for a zip code. On top of basic search content, WireDoo would also give related information like schools, homes and hospitals. Let’s say you click on ‘schools.’ Related content would include detailed information, like academic performance index scores, teachers’ credentials and truancy rates.”



So wiredoo is for all those people on the internet sick of google giving them what they want and not giving them kind of what they want?



While it would seem the most logical route to make hammerpants jokes I’ll refrain because every other article on this ever made hammerpants jokes. Also, I’m a bit biased because MC Hammer and I are friends. He follows me on twitter (I’m one of the lucky 38,109!) Here’s how we met on the internet.



I began following MC Hammer because he’s a famous rapper and probably tweeted interesting things. I was not wrong. One morning he tweeted “Hammertime!” so I sent back three immediate responses.



10:04 AM – @MCHammer you can’t just yell “HAMMERTIME!” You have to yell “STOP!” first and give us a beat to prepare ourselves mentally for hammertime

10:10 AM – @MCHammer I should apologize. I know hammertime is a two way street and perhaps I’m not entirely blameless.



We’ve been friends ever since.



Since we’re such close friends, I’m not going to make any hammerpants jokes. I will, however, say that wiredoo sounds like an awful fucking idea.