An Open Letter To You Stupid College Republican Fuckers.

I read an article in the Star Tribune today where you dumbshits are protesting a bottled water ban at the College of St. Benedict. It spoke about how the college banned the sale of bottled water on campus (students can still buy bottled water off campus and bring it in) to try to slow the growing mountain of smelly fucking garbage that’s going to eventually bury the human race. It also spent $20,000 on 31 “hydration stations” around campus where students can fill reusable water bottles.

Pretty noble of the college and a smart idea but you republican morons had to go once again, take an environmental issue and warp it into a political issue.

“Just as the government should not ban plastic bottles in America, a school administration should not ban the sale of plastic water bottles on their campus,” said Ryan Lyk, chairman of the Minnesota College Republicans and a complete fucking douchebag that doesn’t seem to understand that plastic is made from a finite resource and doesn’t fucking biodegrade.

Another statement from Kate Paul, a St. Ben’s student, a Minnesota College Republicans leader and a stupid bitch read “The hydration stations not only cost us money to use, they are costing us our ability to choose and convenience that derives from choice”. The statement was muffled and hard to decipher because she delivered it with her head entirely up her asshole.

You just don’t fucking get it, do you? Pollution is literally slowly killing this planet and there’s no way to stop it with so many people but when somebody tries to slow down pollution just a little bit you actively fight it? How the fuck did you get into college to begin with?

Now I realize that a few thousand plastic bottles aren’t going to singlehandedly kill the human race but your idiotic asshole attitude is symptomatic of a larger problem. It’s just like your stupid lightbulb bullshit from a few months ago. You think it’s all about the “free market” and “choice” and “blah blah money money I’m a dumb fucking republican” but you either don’t realize (because you’re fucking stupid) or don’t care (because you’re fucking evil) that there are more important things in life like the survival of the goddamn species.

Fucking morons.

 

(note:  this is an opinion piece and none of the statements about any person are, unless quoted, meant to be factual.)

5 thoughts on “An Open Letter To You Stupid College Republican Fuckers.

  1. While trash and pollution is a serious issue I think that this is a stupid idea to take away choice, if they put up the hydration stations and allowed people to make thier own choices that would be excellent. I hope s well that if they banned plastic water bottles they also banned plastic soda to be sold as well.

  2. It’s the same shit as when Obama was mocked for advising people to check their tire pressure. A man wanted to know what he could do, alone, right then, about energy conservation. And that was an answer.

    For what it’s worth, my dad is a republican and a conservationist – they exist. He is frustrated with the current popular GOP views on energy use.

  3. wait wait wait a second, so let me get this straight republicans “the heroes of private business” are sticking their noses in to a private schools business? they should keep their noses where they belong; in bags of crystal meth and escorts assholes.

  4. I can tell this is something you’re definitely passionate about Bill. So I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts on this then if you’d care to skim it and leave your feedback.

    http://mnsu.campusreform.org/group/blog/mankato-college-students-mobilize-against-campus-bottled-water-bans

    “If college administrators are serious about helping the environment by reducing plastic bottle waste they should be challenged to do it through the freedom of the marketplace and not the heavy fist of campus regulation.”

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