I love hearing 23 year olds talk about how they don’t get hangovers.  They, like I did at that age, will talk about how they can drink and drink and wake up fine the next morning as long as they have a glass of water before they go to sleep.  Seemingly blessed with some superpower, their livers are alcohol processing machines, their metabolisms burn that shit to fuel their ever-partying bodies until the wee hours.

To all the 21-23 year olds out there I have some very sad news for you.  It’s going to fucking happen.  You will get hangovers.  It’ll happen so gradually you won’t know when it started.  Maybe that one night you had way too much to drink or drank sugary mixed drinks or didn’t get enough sleep?  You’ll rationalize a non-hangover reason for the throbbing pain in your head but you’re just lying to yourself.  This will happen more and more until you finally have to accept the fact that you can’t even have a few beers without making sure you get a pitcher of water and 8 full hours of sleep.  Congratulations, you are now aging.

The worst part about accepting that you get hangovers is that you have to now accept the fact that the path you now walk increasingly becomes one where you work for your body more and your body works for you less.   Your body is now a thing you have to take care of with proper diet and exercise.  To make it even worse, as you get older you can actually exercise the wrong way.  You have to be careful about working out otherwise you’ll end up a fucking hunchback or have torn ankle tendons or get blood clots or some shit.

It’s all pretty heavy, 21-23 year old readers.  I know.  Reading this is a lot to take in and you may just want to have a drink to calm down but don’t go too crazy.  You have an early morning tomorrow.

Why yes I am hungover.  Why do you ask?