At twelve bells yesterday, the House of Lords and House of Commons passed a bill legalizing gay marriage. The Queen has given her assent by placing her royal seal on the rolled parchment the bill was written on.



While the bill went through without much of a tiff, some conservative toffs threw wobblys like MP Gerald Howarth, who angered many when he referred to “the aggressive homosexual community” that would “see this is as but a stepping stone to something even further.” The tosser even took the piss out of homosexual couples when he tweeted “The Queen has given Royal Assent to Same Sex Marriage. Aggressive homosexuals, please note. Go forth and propose.”



While blokes who oppose the measure have been in a strop and giving their tuppen’orth on the telly, poofs can just tell them to slag off as same sex rumpy pumpy can now be done within the sanctity of marriage!



The bill’s drafter, Lord Evelyn Berkingsworth of Chestershire was quoted as saing “if two blokes want to fiddle their bolloks and see fit to wed, I’d be a numpty nutter to nobble their lives.”



The Church of England and the Catholic Church in England are both well opposed, one representative of the C of E was quoted as saying “Cor Blimey! This cock up is all codswallop!



While the opposition is crying stone and crows the parliament bloody well did it! Homesexuals can rejoice because in 2014, Bob’s your wife!