Internet banner ad tricks have had a weird and interesting history.  Remember when you’d visit a site and a banner ad would tell you that you were the one millionth visitor and you won a car (or something equally implausible)?  Then in the crazy days of myspace there were the banner ads with  a “game” where you would have to shoot the cans off the fence to win a free ringtone.  These days, most banner ads seem to just be a fake news article with a picture attached that has nothing to do with said article –

The above fake news links were in a huffington post article.

1.  Commanders Hate Him.  Why?  Is it because he refuses to wear a shirt into battle?  How is  this a “Health Headline”?

2.  Dermatologists’ Best Keptsecret is trying to suck an egg?  What?  I don’t…  Why?

3.  One Wierd Trick to Stay Asleep all night is to dye half of your hair and look like you haven’t slept in days, I guess?  Does weird dreadlock girl know the trick to staying asleep?

Then there’s this one I got off of CNN.

Kissing brains leads to happier living.  Boston researchers have proven it.  Thanks, EverydayLifestyles!

The dumbest and most common ads I see are for ClassesUSA.

Why are the pictures for each age group all the same? I should also point out that this ad was actually animated to show color slowly filling up the pictures.

ClassesUSA has been responsible for other nonsensical ads in the past like “Obama tells Moms to go to school!” accompanied by a dancing  baby or old man or something.   Turns out they’re a huge scam. I looked them up and Ripoff Report has a bunch of complaints against them. Basically the site just gives your contact info to a bunch of diploma mills (fake colleges that give you fake degrees for little to no study).  The real kicker came when I saw a classesUSA report ad on a ripoff review complaint for classesUSA

I don’t know who is in charge of ad sales at classesUSA but I have to assume it’s a chimpanzee with a drinking problem.  Also, a picture of a chimpanzee with a drinking problem would be a great picture to go on one of their inane banner ads.