Hi.  We haven’t really talked in a while.  I’m willing to admit that I haven’t been the best at keeping up with old friends and acquaintances.   It’s something I need to work on but communication is a two way street and you’re dead.  That doesn’t help things.

I recently invited you to an event on facebook.  This isn’t the first time I’ve done this.  You haven’t responded yet and I don’t think you will because you haven’t responded to any event invites since you died and that’s okay.  I just wanted to say that I don’t expect you to punch through the veil of the afterlife and walk among the living once again just to see me host an open mic.

Don’t take this personally but you were kind of invited by accident.  When I start inviting people to events I take care in the beginning to not invite people who-

A)  Live in another state

B)  Obviously wouldn’t go to such an event

C)  Hates me but is still facebook friends with me for some reason

D)  Is dead.

The amount of attention paid to who I’m inviting to a facebook event, however, usually putters out right around the “B” names and I just begin clicking on everyone because it’s easier and I can let my mind drift.

This probably isn’t the last event I’m going to invite you to, either.  As time goes on and creating these events feels more and more pointless not even the “A” and “B” names that live far away will be safe from me inviting them to some karaoke night, comedy show or whatever ego fueling bullshit I need to tell everybody about.  The only way that this would stop is if I unfriended you and that isn’t about to happen.  I know you’re dead and don’t care if I’m still your friend on facebook but my Catholic guilt and Minnesota nice are mixing together and manifesting in weird ways in the age of digital communication and social networking.

So please don’t feel like you’re offending me because you’re not coming to my facebook events and I hope to see you at my barbecue next week.