Over the next seven weekends Jena will be working the Minnesota Renaissance Festival. With Jared at his dad’s for the weekends and me with no work in August, this means that I’ll be home alone for the next several weekends. Completely alone. This is going to be a great opportunity for me to devolve back to the feral bachelor I was before Jena rescued and domesticated me. Here are my weekend plans so far.

PANTS – Not going to wear them.

FOOD- The trick to eating alone is to create as few dirty dishes as possible.  This means eating food right out of the pot it was cooked in (i.e. mac n’ cheese) and possibly with the wooden spoon used to cook it.  Other foods such as peanut butter, tuna etc. can be eaten right out of the jar or can.  Unfortunately, a fork or spoon may be needed for these but if you have a roll of toilet paper in arm’s reach you can use that as a napkin and eat with your hands.

BOOZE – I shall construct a beeramid, one that shall touch the sky to house my remains, possessions and servants.  A beeramid so grand that mighty Anubis shall bow down before it!  That, or one as tall as a twelve pack of PBR will allow.

In all honestly I’ll probably just lose most of my weekend to internet porn.