State Government Shutdown

The State of Minnesota will be closed for business on July 1st if the governor and legislature can’t come to an agreement on the budget. While this may seem a bit extreme to some people, it makes perfect sense to me. In fact, the last time my wife and I had an argument about the family budget I put myself into a medically induced coma until she let me buy more comic books. Sure, it cost thousands of dollars to care for me during the coma and caused irreparable brain damage but I got what I wanted.

Now this doesn’t mean that Anarchy will rule the streets and riots will break out (for the first couple of weeks) but this does mean that any state gov’t service deemed “unnesential” will be closed and all employees of said services will be laid off until an agreement is made.  Amongst those services is the Minnesota Racing Commission, meaning Canterbury Downs will shut down, laying off it’s 1,300+ employees and leaving dozens of Jockeys looking for work

Local Chapter of the Lollypop Guild

While layoffs are bad for any worker, Jockeys will be hit especially hard.  Racing horces is all they’ve known.  So for all the Jockeys that read my blog, here’s some tips to finding alternate employment in the mean time.
1.  Make cookies:  Short people make better cookies.  Everybody knows that.
2.  Dress up like children and hustle kids in the park:  High stakes hopscotch, four square and freeze tag can get you quite a bit of allowance money in a day.
3:  Stand on each other’s shoulders and wear an oversized trenchcoat to sneak into “R” rated films:  There’s no money in this, I just think it’s a great timeless gag.
For more information on Jockey employment, consult your local eccentric chocolate company owner.

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