The Hastings Star Gazette (what a cute, old timey name!) recently reported that Mike Haege, who runs his own tree removal service in Hastings, went to North Minneapolis to volunteer his services in the tornado aftermath. As a volunteer, he didn’t charge a dime for his work but that didn’t stop city inspectors and police from forcing him to stop, escorting him out of the city, threatening jail time and fining him $275. Reading this story pissed me off so much I wrote a letter to the mayor (you can, too! http://www.ci.minneapolis.mn.us/forms/mayor-opinion/ ). I then sat down and reflected on how fucking old I am because I just wrote a letter to the mayor.

Seriously, I won’t publish the whole letter but I’ll let you know it was peppered with old people phrases like “such indignity” and “sincerely hope”. I even ended it with “Thank you for your time”.

I sat down in a rocking chair that magically appeared before me. I was hit with a sudden craving for Metamucil as I found myself poring over the city’s website, looking for city council meetings I could attend to bitch about how bumpy the sidewalks are because goddamnit, I’m a taxpayer!

I’d tell you more but these old bones are getting tired and my stories are on.

My lawn. Get off it.