I once had a friend tell me “don’t shit where you eat.” It was in response to me dating someone within the stand up community, meaning that I shouldn’t date in a community I’m trying to be taken seriously.

I mean, I married that guy I started dating, so I guess he was wrong.

Then again, I’ve divorced that guy I started dating, so maybe he was right.

The point is, the phrase itself sounds like it has merit. I mean, literally shitting where you eat may seem efficient, but not a good idea.

No one told that to Magic Toilet Cafe.

Not a bathroom.

This is a cafe in LA with a toilet theme. You sit on toilet bowls (maybe now guys will understand why you should put the seat down) at tile encrusted tables, and get served foods with poop joke names out of dishes that look like little toilets.

Get it? It’s a toilet BOWL.

The restaurant just celebrated it’s soft launch. Don’t think about that too hard.

When I saw the original article, I though this was probably something out of Japan. I mean, there is a precedent. Bill once received Japanese candy that you ate out of a little toilet bowl dish.

But no, this is in LA. The owner is from China, which is not the same thing, you racist.

It reminds me of the episode of South Park where a Japanese immigrant opened a City Sushi next to a Chinese immigrant’s City Wok, only, they couldn’t pronounce “city” right, and kept calling them “shitty sushi” and “shitty wok.”

The point is, poop jokes are universal. It’s the one thing that binds the world together in comedy.

Well, that and fart jokes. Look for my new fart-themed restaurant “Cut the Cheese,” opening this spring.