My wife and I live in an older house (built around 1910 or something). Living in an older house has it’s ups and downs. One of the downs, we’ve learned over the last several months, is that older houses have lots of tiny holes for little critters to slip through with ease. We first discovered a mouse, which led to sealing up all of the bigger holes with a mix of caulking compound and steel wool. Not a big deal and haven’t seen a mouse since. Then there were ants. Which led to a thorough scrubbing of floors and a can of raid. There’s been a couple of ants since then but nothing major. The latest unwelcome guest, however…

centipede!

I fucking hate centipedes.  They look evil, they’re fast and poisonous. They eat earthworms. They molest kids. I don’t have any evidence to support that last one but I’m pretty sure it’s true.

Why couldn’t we be infested with caterpillars? Caterpillars only care about two things. Eating leaves and turning into butterflies.

Now I shouldn’t say we’re infested with them. My wife just found one last night and sprayed it with enough Raid to kill a horse. Before that we saw one a few weeks ago. I think it was smoking crack and posting messages on tea party forums.

Centipedes are racist and drink milk right out of the carton.

I fucking hate centipedes.